Apple and Speedy both play fall soccer at the local park. This is one sport that they both love. I have often lamented the lack of points though. Number 1 I am super competitive so a game with no winner is painful for me. Number 2 I honestly think all the kids would work SO much harder if there were scores and a clear winner and loser. Why work hard if they are all gonna get a trophy at the end and get no special accolades for performance?? Apple's coach last year was THE BEST. She gave them each a "special" certificate at the end of the season for performance in a particular area. What a boost to them to be recognized for an actual achievement!!!
I think the patting kids on the back even when they don't do anything great, giving a trophy to every kid even if they disrupted the game more than participating, clapping and cheering for everyday tasks that we (parents, coaches, teachers, etc) do is RUINING our children. My mantra has always been "Kids will only do as well as you expect them to." SET THE BAR HIGH PEOPLE!!! If you only expect your kids to roll out of bed and accomplish the minimum everyday, then that is absolutely all they are going to do. Seriously. So when your 35 yr old "kid" is still living in your basement, searching for a job that embraces them and their desires, let me know how that works out for you!
I am not alone!! WOOHOO!!! Kay Wills Wyma totally agrees with me! She has a brood of 4 and she embarked upon a yearlong journey to remove their sense of entitlement. In other words she was tired of them expecting her to do everything for the (enabling) and she wanted them to know that sheets don't wash themselves and ketchup doesn't magically reappear in the fridge when you run out. She realized she had not been equipping her kids with the skills they would need to function in real life. Most parents don't these days. I'm guilty of some of this myself.
I have been on a journey to teach my kids the value of trying hard and working their whole lives.......but I am guilty of "doing it myself because it's easier." If you remember last summer, Apple spent some of her summer vacation learning about cooking and some cleaning tasks. Speedy did a little too because I don't think just girls need to know these things. I will admit Apple loves to help in the kitchen but I often shoo her away because it's a bigger mess if she "helps." However many friends look at me in amazement when I admit that at least 4 times a week Apple is in charge of breakfast for she and Speedy. Granted it's usually cereal or breakfast pastries but she can do it and pour oj.
Wyma makes so many good points in Cleaning House. I won't cover them all here because you NEED to read this book! Seriously. Whether you have 1 child or 10 and they are 0 or 15, you need this book! You need the reminder that hard work gives more self esteem than any positive reinforcement pat on the back and sticker! Seriously. Available May 8!
I received this book from Waterbrook Multnomah for the purpose of this review. All opinions are my own.